Opportunity and Change

Better share them before I forget:

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less”

“Either sin keeps you from the Word, or the Word keeps you from sin”

//kasalukuyang nakikinig (nilulunod ang sarila) sa: “I Surrender All” ni Clay Crosse, musika ng Across the Sky, Inter-Varsity Urbana 2006, at iba pa…

kasalukuyang naglalaro ng: travian ph1 server //

Sa ikalawang pagkakataon ay tumutugtog na naman (ng starstruck dance music, brother louielouielouie, like a virgin, at kung anu-ano pang napulot sa perya) ang pagka-lakas-lakas na speakers ng kabilang gusali. Ito ay nakadagdag sa pagkaka watak-watak ng aking pagiisip, dahil sa dami ng dapat gawin, gustong gawin, dapat isipin, di dapat ispin, at… you get the point…

Dahil sa mga pangyayaring ito, ako ay napilitang lunurin ang aking sarili sa musika, gamit ang 2nd-hand, cdrking-refurbished sennheiser headphones. Kasunod nito ang panalangin para sa peace of mind at concentration. Ayan, may epekto na. Pwede na ko magsulat upang makalma ang aking sarili.

(piraso #1)   Ilang linggo ko nang hindi nasusundan ang aking quiet time series. Nalaman ko kasi na hindi madali magsulat ng reflections araw-araw. Gayumpaman, patuloy pa rin akong magsusulat upang maitaas ang Pangalan ng aking Panginoon.

(piraso #2)       Natagpuan ko ilang pulgada mula sa ilalim ng aking kamay ang isang lumang litrato noong mahaba pa ang aking buhok. Kinuhan ko ito gamit ang aking webcam:

pizza hut bistro gateway, cubao. SVCFers: Noel, Rachel, k.Matt, Migs, a.Hannah, Hazel, LA, Benj

Nasaan na nga ba ang mga taong ito? Nakakamiss… ika nga eh, “those were the days….”

(piraso #3)     Kasalukuyan akong nagbabasa tungkol sa fiber at citrus upang may mailagay pang makabuluhan sa aking thesis proposal/hypotheis.

(piraso #4)    Kasalukuyan ding nag iisip kung paano sisimulang ang 2nd report sa fs137 lab.

(piraso #5)    Gustong magbasa ng Bible at magdasal ngunit nasasayangan sa oras.

(piraso #6)    Iniisip ang lahat ng pagpupulong na magaganap bukas kasama ang mga kapwa nga-aaral mula sa iba’t ibang asignatura.

(piraso #7)    Gustong matulog at ipagpabukas na lang ang #1-#6.

hmm, mukhang dapat isa-isahin ko ang mga ito nag isa-isa rin silang matapos. siyempre, mauuna ang pagbabasa at pagdarasal…

hanggang sa muli…

I haven’t quite had enough time to have a decent scripture-meditation type quiet time these past few days.  I had a few instances of scripture reading, thanks to my phone’s S60 bible. I am also rereading a book entitled “the man in the mirror: solving the 24 problems men face.” There were also bursts of prayer and petition during the day and at night, not counting mealtimes.

So, what’s been happening these past few days?

• Went to DOST twice for my scholarship spending an aggregate travel and waiting time of 9.5 hours. I went home blessed to have my scholarship reinstated and have last semester’s fees reimbursed, with matching allowance!
• Went to asiantech for a followup regarding my “voided” battery warranty. Had a test of patience and Christ-likeness in patiently arguing and fighting for my rights. Will know the results soon. I pray that my love and enthusiasm for God will be independent of the result of this warranty appeal.
• Spent almost 300 in jeep, bus, and train fares within a span of 3 days.
• Went with my relatives to a pool party in los banos.
• Had bouts of allergic rhinitis, allowing me to miss my saturday class.

So, what am I learning from all these?

• Trust God unwaveringly.
• love Him independent of your circumstances.
• Always remember that people are God’s creation.
• Anyone can be a recipient of grace, and we are dispensers of what we have received from above.
• Humility and temper are inversely proportional.

——————————

Earlier today, I had a friend who was wondering about goals. It’s true that after you have achieved one, you find another, until you find one that you think you can’t achieve. What does God have to say about these things? scroll down.

Q: What is the chief end of man?
A: Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.

-Westminster Catechism

——————————–

Philippians 3

No Confidence in the Flesh

1Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you.

2Watch out for those dogs, those men who do evil, those mutilators of the flesh. 3For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh— 4though I myself have reasons for such confidence.
If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless.

7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

*taken from biblegateway.org, NI Version. italics, the blogger’s own

I read a book a few days ago about a person who was hesitant about selling her decade-and-a-half-old car because of sentimental reasons. She did not want to part with her old, mechanic-magnet vehicle. The thought sounded OA to me, until I realized that there are some things in life that I want to be non-negotiable. I realized that i have almost closed the doors to all possibilities of being a missionary. I did not want to work in a place away from a city. I wanted a job that advances to the top (read: promotions). I’d be all but joyful to give away my gadgets and clothes. Perhaps I am still a long way from “being conformed to the image and likenss of Christ”.

I know of a person who calls the state of being ready to part with things as suicidal. Whether it be material or abstract, most people hold on dearly to stuff that others might consider as rubbish.

Most people today hold on dearly things and close to their heart. For some people, it may include ipods, dogs, cars or phones. To others, position, a high-paying job, a comfortable lifestyle, or a peaceful neighborhood.

In the above passage, we ca see that the apostle Paul counted his prestiege, position, peaceful coexistence, and  “legalistic righteousness” (which he has worked for in such a long span of time) as nothing compared to knowing Christ. He willfully parted with these things, in order that he may gain Christ. Paul, so to speak, has adopted a “suicidal” view when it comes to things that are of no eternal value.

Paul “lost all things” for the sake of Christ (take note, it’s in the past tense). Did we “lose all things” the moment we turned to Christ? Do we have the same point of view as Paul? Are we willing to relocate to a far-flung, churchless neigborhood for the “sake of Christ”? Can we easily let go of our material possessions without second thoughts? Or are we stuck to a superficial form of Christianity that takes all the rubbish along with the Only thing that matters?

I am not saying that we should give away all that we have and wander the face of the earth with only one set of clothes and some cartons for beds. I am saying that it may be better if we take into account all purchases and decisions we make, and review them in the light of eternity. Perhaps we even need to check if we are severely attached to any object or desire, especially if we consider that object or desire as having greater value than Christ.

Knowing Christ is the only thing that should be non-negotiable. If there are other things on your list, pray hard. Don’t stop until only one is left.

**perhaps i’ll try tagalog tomorrow

It’s been a while…

I’ve decided to post my quiet time reflections here as often as possible. In this way, I accomplish two things:

1. Be forced to do my quiet times daily

2. Share what I have learned to friends and guests alike.

So, here it goes…

Humility

I was looking at my bible one day, and I discovered that I had written something on the front cover’s inner lining, it was a quote from our pastor, kuya Caloy:

“Napaka hirap saktan ng isang humble na person”

At that time, I was having increasing incidences of shouting or getting angry at people close to me. That made me ponder. I remembered Jesus’ quote from the sermon on the mount:

“Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth”

This quote, in turn, made me go to Philippians 2:3-8, where Paul the apostle discusses the humility of Christ:

3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature^[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature^[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

A lot of thoughts came flashing through mind. Some of them are:

• humility is something you don’t have when you think you do have it
• Even before Leonidas thought that a God could bleed, a God bled to death
• If Xerxes’ getting wounded by a “mortal” was humiliation, what would you call Jesus’ death on the cross
• Humility and obedience go together, and  in Christ’s context, obedience meant lots of grace, patience, and pride-swallowing
• For God to become and and to die at the hands of men is like a man becoming an ant and getting executed by fellow ants (anyone willing to become an ant and die by their hands to save them?).
• I was angry about small things, while Christ forgave those who wanted to take his life. He did not retaliate, even if all the powers of heaven was his to command.

Truly, the Word of God never ceases to bring fresh revelation. Try reading the passage, and you might still find something that I might have missed.

A prayer:

Dear Lord, teach us to be humble like you. May we learn obedience from your example. Help us to not think highly of ourselves. May we forgive those who are against us; just as you forgave those who mistreated you. May we consider others, and not just ourselves. May we be salt and light to the world, as we follow in your footsteps.

It’s been a long while…

(subtitle: “How I spent my summer vacation” and “What I did this semester”)

(warning: this is a long read, you may want to go directly to the lessons page)

Part 1

As most of you know, I’ve been studying in college for more than five years. Most of my batchmates (anyone who entered college in 2003) are already working, and some already have families. Somehow, those facts compelled me to at least try and find a summer job. After some misadventures, I found myself checking papers and policing high schoolers in a “famous” tutorial center.

I transformed once again into “Sir Benj”, though with a slightly higher salary (2x, where x = a UP SA’s rate). For the most part, I just check, arrange, and cut papers. Almost daily, I orient and evaluate new lecturers (almost everyone) about the class’ profile. On certain days, the higher-ups would tell me to call the parents for various reasons, hoping that my voice will be enought to make them feel that they get what they paid for.

It was a new experience for me to take four modes of travel every morning and evening (bipedal, jeep, bus, MRT). To make things challenging, I decreased my allowance to force me to use what I earn for my daily needs (the words inexpensive lunch and Greenhills have little intersection)

Lessons:

• My very high saving rate will not work unless I work near my home
• In a job, benefits are important

——————————————————–

Part 2

Mishaps with the curriculum hit me hard when I realized that my DOST scholarship cannot be coupled with just 6 units, resulting in a sort of technical suspension. As such, I had to find some sort of “pag-aabalahan” for the semester.The list includes:

Travian

The decline in my units was countered by the sudden increase of time required to play the browser game travian, with my villages in two accounts being razed to the ground as I sleep.I eventually deleted my accounts as it started to consume too much time and electricity.

RA

I was offered a job as a review assistant still, in their new saturday class (19 sessions = 5 months). At one point, almost everything I earned went to my lunch and fares. Thank God for my boss who somehow logged in my excess hours whenever I went early and got off late. I managed to finish handling three sections, and most likely, I won’t handle another one again.

Tutor

Despite my failed preliminary demo teaching, they managed to convince me to try my skills at tutoring (where salary =4x). I was asked to do elementary and high school subjects (from algebra and physics to history and music 0_o). For more than a week, I was teaching almost daily from 4-8pm, sometime even earlier. Factor in the commuting time, and that would mean I spent a lot more time in the center that at school.

After the students’ quarterly examinations, the center summoned me less often. I suffered from successive cases of disappearing students, who magically become sick at times when I am already on my way to teach them. Eventually, I felt like I was wasting my time, and asked the staff not to summon me unless I get enough committed students.

Sensory Training Stints

I was asked to help out as a driver, lab assistant and all-rounder for two of my teachers who do trainings for a certain 30-year old fastfood chain (rate =1.4x ). At first it was lonely, doing repetitive work alone in the lab. I just convinced myself that this job is a relevant experience to my course. True enough, the perks (food!) were more than enough to convince me.

The usuals

A relationship, church, household duties, academics, and whatever errands I get.

The unusuals

For the first time in ten semesters, I did not renew in SVCF. For a change, I tried busying myself with other stuff, having a glimpse of what it would be like to work and not have a parachurch fellowship.

——————————————————–

Lessons

For the past year, life has become a seemingly endless chain of changing circumstances. By change, I mean major changes, not like how an 18-unit schedule remaps every semester.

I realized that I still tend to blame circumstances for how I respond to them. I do not seem to be intrinsic enough cause change rather than be changed. That means I cannot survive spiritually in places where circumstances change drastically (like in an unreached mission field where fellowships are rare).

I remember one lesson we had in compass reading. The lecturer told us never to make a potentially mobile object a landmark. “three hundred meters mula sa kalabaw” or “sa likod ng kotse” are examples of frail landmarks.

Circumstances are like frail landmarks, it’s pointless to base your life on things that change. Let your life be based on something immovable, like our God, who is a Mighty Fortress. The bottom line? Seek daily strengthening from God. Asses your circumstances, but don’t build your life around them. Don’t forget what God has commanded you to do.

*ang hirap pala mag summarize ng mahigit walong buwan…

//It’s been long since I last blogged. Haven’t thought of something edifying to share lately. I have been taking medications for tuberculosis for more than two weeks now, and it has somehow made me weaker that I normally am.//

    While pondering one day, I realized that life can be defined as a series of chairs. From the moment we learn to sit, there has always been a specific set of chairs for each phase of our lives.
    The chairs that we have occupied and will occupy say something about our lives and status. Round table meetings have specific ranks in specific positions. As we grow up, we trade our high chairs for the playground swings, and then for arm chairs at school.  At work, we have different chairs, often becoming more fancy with increasing ranks. After retirement, there’s a chance that we’ll sit in a wheel chair. If you’re from a certain tribes in the northern province, you’ll be buried seated in a seat-for-life.
    The chairs or seats we occupy are opportunities that often do not repeat. Not everyone gets to study after college, work at the same office desk for years, or hold chairmanship positions for multiple terms. These chairs represent kairos moments that should not pass ungrabbed.
    I have had many regrets in the past. Not sharing God’s good news of salvation to friend I might never encounter again. Choosing to not attend certain events and trainings that I knew would have been worth my time. Not giving my all in the positions I once held. Spending too much time in the computer chair and toilet bowl.
    Perhaps in the future, I will be made to choose between chairs. Whatever the case maybe, I hope all my decisions will be inclined towards pleasing the One whose throne and judgment seat I will one day stand before. The One who chose the seat at the right hand of God, rather than the throne of this world. The One whose chair I am not even worthy to see, Jesus Christ.

    So, what are you waiting for, don’t just sit around there, uhh, do something?

    Last Wednesday, after emerging from the nearby grocery shop with a white plastic bag, I saw an all-too-familiar silhouette, with matching car, from a distance. The shadow happened to belong to Melvin, a man who shared the same schools as I did since elementary. After some chit-chat and updates with each other’s lives, he decided to pray for me, as I was to speak in a dorm fellowship a day after.
    It was then that he mentioned that our friendship has become "…a brotherhood of sorts." As I looked back, I remembered how we once walked a distance of around 6-8 kilometers on foot, as 6th graders. How after that, my mom grounded me and my brother from hanging out with him.
    Come high school, we became Pokemon card and console RPG game enthusiasts. He was being a nominal Christian, and I was a struggling believer who was ashamed of my faith. Before graduation however, I saw how he was transformed by God into someone with the boldness and passion to share Jesus.
    Though we rarely get to bump into each other these days, we have both seen the faithfulness and work of God in our lives. Perhaps apart from being both sinners saved by grace and having the same Lord, we are bonded by the witnessing God’s power in changing lives and turning us into Christian men, into a brotherhood of sorts.

I was typing this last night when all of a sudden, I clicked on an ad by accident, and *poof*, all the text went bye-bye.

Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship.
Leadership, Discipleship, and Missions Camp 2007.
The Incomparable and Inconvenient Truth: Living as Followers of Christ.
October 23-29 (or 21-30 for us)
The Lord’s Garden, Brgy. Looc, Calamba, Laguna

"Ikaw daw director ng camp na to ah."

"hindi, si Lord."

Warning: This entry will contain many grammatical errors, and will not be as creative as the previous ones. This piece will be way different from the one i wrote last night. please bear with me.

This camp, from its conception, has truly been inconvenient. From the speakers and counselors backing out, to the schedules that were never final.

A total of 109 campers for the 3 tracks were recorded, not counting the participants to the Councilor’s Training Conference.  Roughly  180 people were involved in the camp, including counselors, staff, and speakers. This has been, I believe, the biggest  sem-break  camp ever held, in terms of sheer number.
 
I was blessed with many highly competent co-workers who were able to stand up to the pressures of planning without breaking down, and were wise enough to give sound advice to us youngsters. (congrats!)

From the start, I already felt unworthy to direct the camp. This was partly because I can’t commit myself 100% to the camp knowing that I left responsibilities at home. I found it hard to entrust them to the Lord, especially since they were continually demanding my time.

There’s also the constant pressure of being blamed for any small thing that goes wrong, and being accountable to everything that happens (accidents, changes in the schedule, wrongdoings, etc.)

Eventually, a staff asked me to make a choice between pastoring the flock or directing the camp. I chose the rod and the staff, but found it hard to veer off from my administrative and curricular job description. I missed cabin devotions and bonding moments because of exec meetings. I missed out on some sessions to help in the physical arrangements. I barely knew my small group(s) beyond the surface. I was Mary and Martha at the same time, sometimes choosing what is good, sometimes, what is better.

During the camp, we faced a lot of trials. It seemed to me that, in line with the theme, it has somehow become the incomparable and inconvenient camp. The Lord has made us realize the theme before, during, and after the camp.

These trials include: overlooking counselor’s antics, overlooking camper’s antics, delayed sessions, sessions not going according to plan, swapping schedules, demolishing schedules, perennial complaints, spiritual battles, and physical ailments.

Lessons

• PLEASE GOD, NOT MEN. Even Jesus had enemies, and got negative comments. I heard a lot of negative feedback during the camp, and even from outside the camp. Yet my job was to continue the work assigned to me, regardless of what others do or say.
• HUMILITY. God taught us to be humble, down to the toe-level.
• SENSITIVITY. Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. We overlooked a lot of things that made some of the young ones stumble, and realized that some issues (like homosexuality) should not be taken lightly. Things that appear harmless to us are actually offensive to some. Indeed, being a stumbling block to the young ones is considered a great sin.
• GRACE ABOUNDS. There were times that we almost gave up. It seemed that the people were not ready to evangelize, and the weather, unwilling to cooperate. Yet, it was as if the clouds pulled back,  and the  doors in the neighborhood swung open.  There were also times that we almost screwed up. We didn’t have  a prepared final challenge up until an hour before it was given.  Apart from that, the plan wasn’t followed, as God lead us to some minor changes, and changing more than half of the final challenge message minutes before it was given.
• MERCY. Even before the campers arrived, a family came to us for help. A 73 year old mother with breast cancer was brought to us. We shared the gospel, prayed for them, and gave them a part of the offering.
• PERENNIAL INCONVENIENCE. Even after the camp, campers and counselors have been facing illnesses, persecutions, challenges, and struggles. Living as followers of Christ was never easy, but, it was, is, and always will be, worth it.

Christianity is never more than heeding a call: "Follow me."

To God be all the glory!

direk benj
(camp janitor)

GOD’S GRACE PUTS EVERYTHING IN PLACE

I woke up today (thursday) frantically preparing for my 9:15 exam
I arrived in IC 45 minutes before time, and so was looking for the schedule to see where our room was
As it turned out, our exam was scheduled yesterday, at the time when we had our oral report in another subject.
And so, I panicked and texted my classmate:

"xxx! Nagfinals ka ba ng 150 kahapon?"
"bakit, hindi mo alam?"
"Namiss ko sya! Thursday nakalagay sa sa sched ko, 9:15-11:15. Waaah!"
"Haha, swerte ka dahil hindi natuloy! Sa sat na lang daw… may swerte pa palang nananalatay sa dugo mo. hehe. joke"

Well, there you have it. God’s grace is truly immeasurable. It even transcends one’s own stupidity…

What a nice way to start our celebration. of the 6th 11th…